Snow

This is the winter of snow. Piling up on the roof top ... burying my backyard in a think blanket of white. Six foot berms of snow flank the driveway and front of the house making this more like a wintry fortress. Icicles like daggers turn to swords and lances as the day progresses guarding the house with icy teeth. Walkways are like skating rinks instead of safe paths.

Its been a difficult few days with all the busy-ness of the burial and service preparations finished and guests departed. I miss Mark so much and it seems to catch me off guard so much of the day and night. As his caretaker for the last year I am currently missing the simple things like holding his hand or just the smell of him when I rested my cheek near his. And I've realized that I'm not at all prepared emotionally for his physical departure from our home. As much as I knew what the outcome might be it still feels unreal. The memories and photos seem like pale imitations to having the real thing by your side and will never be enough. Even in his poor health and limited mobility he was such a joy to me. Yes there were difficult times but he was always generous in his love. Always giving me a sweet smile or sending me a text message when he could no longer talk.

We have been enjoying the sympathy cards and in particular the stories that friends and family have shared with us about their time with Mark. Thank you for sharing your memories with us.