Rain's End

Holidays ... survived

2012-01-03T18:05:00.000-08:00

Our elf ...

Winters in the air...

2011-09-19T11:31:00.000-07:00

Or at least thats what the neighborhood squirrels are implying. The drive down to Boston on Saturday with the girls was a regular squirrel graveyard. Yuck.

Here are a few cute penguins ...

September blues

2011-09-14T07:31:00.000-07:00

Peach and Grey

Another fall and summer over again. The girls are back at school and we are reluctantly dragging ourselves through the motions of the back to school activities. This means more driving for me though my oldest will be driving soon.

The girls will be back at NEC and I will be making the trip into Boston twice on Saturdays now. It should be crazy. It will be. I'm dreading it. But I love the music.

I just got through the torture of a sleep study. Yes it was torture for me with my claustraphobic feelings. Of course it looks like I do have sleep apnea so I will be having the added torture of drowning in that air face mask. Its so difficult calming that absolute panic of sufficating with it even though that seems odd because its blowing air. But I feel like I'm diving into a tiny pool of water when I put that mask on. I suppose I will enjoy more sleep though so I am determined to give it a try.

Summer

2011-06-30T20:29:00.001-07:00

A new very pretty Etsy Treasury ...

May around the corner ...

2011-04-26T04:59:00.001-07:00

I'm usually so excited as the spring continues to unfold. The flowers start adding color to the drab left-overs of winter and the brown grass turns miraculously greener. The trees promising buds of green are suddenly leaves and the world is transformed. But I find this all a little bittersweet without Mark here to share them with. I'm not immune to it though. Those perky daffodils and tiny blue flowers are a little too pretty not to make me smile just a little.

Like every year at this time I've been trying to find a day I can have a bonfire and burn some of the brush. I have the burn permit from the town which expires at the end of April. But the days and weather don't cooperate much. Either too much wind, too much rain, or I'm just busy. We had a lot of prickly brush piled up from all the help from friends last fall when Mark was sick. I managed a small fire yesterday but had to get it out rather quickly so I could leave the house on an errand.

Life has been pretty busy with the girls activities. Both the high school and middle school bands won gold in the MICCA competitions which was exciting. May and the beginning of June promise to be more than busy with all the concerts and recital dates. NEC auditions are coming up too at the beginning of May.

I attended a stone carving class with Adam Paul Heller the second weekend in April down in RI. My idea was that I might learn enough to carve my husband's grave stone. We both have always loved the old slate stones in the graveyard up over the bridge and on a hill above our river. That is where Mark is buried now. The kids have memories of playing hide and seek up there and it was always our first stop on our walks along the old railway tracks.

The class was wonderful. We learned about stone and the carving tools and much about lettering as well. We each had our own work area and a piece of slate secured to an easel-like stand.

I admit it was frustrating at first but over time I was more satisfied with my work. Still it hardly compares with the skill of the masters of this art but it is a joy to be able to carve into something so permanent as stone.

My first practice stone. Letters chosen to practice straight lines, connecting lines, and then curves. Towards the end of the first day I got a little frustrated with the lettering and wanted to try a leaf.

The second day I worked a little more on my leaf and then started on a second stone. I decided to chose letters that meant something to me, hoping I might be a little more meticulous in my carving of them. I laid out the lettering for Mark's name on the slate tile half.

Adam was a wonderful teacher, very encouraging and patient. The other people attending the class were very interesting as well and made the weekend very enjoyable.

The girls were so impressed with my carving of Mark's name that we decided to put it up at the grave until I have his grave stone carved. So far I think I am going to order two matching stones in slate. Eventually one will be mine but if I order it now I can get it to match best. I'm busy trying to get some practice slate to practice my carving on. I don't expect that I'll be able to match the skill of a stone carving artist but I think the process of carving this is important to me.

A few photos from the class ...

Anyway we made a little garden shaped like a heart up on Mark's grave. Back in February and March we had collected loose stones around the grave site and made a heart shape around his photo marker. At the beginning of April the cemetery workers had regraded the area and added topsoil. Our stone heart was gone sadly. In April my mother had put a small planter of pansies in the ground there. Last week when I was picking off the old flowers I decided to toss them over the stone wall. Oddly enough I could see that all our stones we had collected had been tossed there. This was strangely disturbing so I got the kids to help collect the stones in a bucket and we arranged them again as a heart. On Friday I picked up a bunch of pretty plants (blue forget-me-nots, blue violas, wild bleeding heart, thyme, and jacobs ladder) to arrange within the heart. The carved stone we placed in the center. We brought the pansies of my moms back home. With all these rainy drizzly days the plants should fill in nicely. I love the moss that grows around the graveyard here.

The girls really enjoyed making the garden and planting the sweet plants. The youngest was really happy with the result and I was glad that we had done this. I'm not sure what the cemetery commission will say about this but certainly it should be ok for the year it will take me to carve the stone. Besides we are up there so often that we will keep it looking nice and well watered.

Happy Birthday darling, we miss you xoxoxoxo

2011-03-12T17:32:00.000-08:00

Yes, today is the day that Mark would have turned 48. We all have had a melancholy week particularly me though. But it all comes down to simply just missing him terribly every second of my day. My youngest (just turned 10) wrote this song as a tribute to her daddy's birthday.

In My Sorrow

In my sorrow I will find that there's happiness inside of me.
In my sorrow I will find that love's always there.
In my sorrow I will find that love shall not keep me from my family, and
In my sorrow I will find that there's love to share.

In my grief I will find that happiness is like a flower,
Always blooming in depths of my heart.
In my grief I will find that love will embrace me,
When you're here and when you're gone, forever.

In death I will find that there's happiness in heaven.
In death I will find that your love is still here,
Always with me, never gone, our love still lives on.
In death I will learn not to shed a single tear.

In my love I will find that death can not part us,
Even though when you're not here I feel torn apart.
Torn to shreds, and broken down, my pieces never found.
In my dreams you will come and piece together my heart.

In happiness I will find that nothing can stop me,
From loving you for all of my life.
In happiness I will find that you still remember,
All the great times we have spent together.

In my life I will find that you're still watching over me,
Making sure that I take the right steps.
In my life I will find that you're still here beside me,
Guiding me through my life 'til the end.

A few things ...

2011-02-21T12:43:00.000-08:00

I'm keeping busy getting through things day by day but feeling a bit lost. The girls are home on vacation this week. We enjoyed snow tubing on Monday and the MFA on Tuesday. The snow on Monday had me thinking back to the day of Mark's burial. I had fun while tubing but the rest of the day was tough. I can't say this is going to be easy in any way. Still trudging through paper work and probably will for a while yet.

I've got a several custom orders filling up my schedule for the spring. This should keep me busy a bit.

These lovely treasuries made on Etsy include some of my work.

'nature and birds!!' by hobilium

nature and birds!!

white iron love bir... LucyandEllen $34.00	3 magnets with wild... KelimPottery $24.00	Bird Nest Pendant N... seragun $15.00	Colored girl's ... myknittingworl... $20.00
Vintage Harry M Pat... jenscloset $24.50	Butterfly necklace hobilium $25.00	Ring bearer lily pa... Rainsend $28.00	Migrating swallow s... nihanatakan $30.00
Little house living... Rainsend $25.00	Personalized Chocol... andiespecialty... $30.00	Peace Birdie Love I... ayatasarim $16.00	Amigurumi happy lit... hayalce $18.00
Blossfedia - Color ... gemagenta $22.00	Linen 4 Sandwich Ba... Evgene $19.00	Chillin - Fine Art ... Crystalphotogr... $4.50	Circuit Board Tie T... TheBlueKraken $9.00

Treasury tool is sponsored by Lazzia.com A/B image testing.

and

'flowers in spring and!' by hobilium

enjoy!

Leg Warmers Angel&#... SockBox $41.00	Romantic Country st... Iovelycrochet $39.00	SPRING SALE floweri... leapinggazelle $20.00	Fuchsia Flower Dre... secdus $43.00
linen and lace -sto... Tuuni $	Ring bearer dish an... Rainsend $28.00	Pair of vintage glo... satisfind $100.00	Fairy Shoes Wall Ar... humblebea $18.00
Pale Pink Chrysanth... mycolorfuldrea... $18.00	$	4 pcs- Crocheted C... nezoshop $	PINEAPPLE DESIGNED,... DEMET $60.00
Hand knitted, Braid... elemegibere $40.00	Lucinda Bloom And B... BlushEnvy $50.00	SHABBY CHIC HEARTS ... OldNewAgain $24.00	In A Dream - Fine A... DovieMoon $14.99

Treasury tool is sponsored by Lazzia.com A/B image testing.

Snow

2011-02-08T05:32:00.000-08:00

This is the winter of snow. Piling up on the roof top ... burying my backyard in a think blanket of white. Six foot berms of snow flank the driveway and front of the house making this more like a wintry fortress. Icicles like daggers turn to swords and lances as the day progresses guarding the house with icy teeth. Walkways are like skating rinks instead of safe paths.

Its been a difficult few days with all the busy-ness of the burial and service preparations finished and guests departed. I miss Mark so much and it seems to catch me off guard so much of the day and night. As his caretaker for the last year I am currently missing the simple things like holding his hand or just the smell of him when I rested my cheek near his. And I've realized that I'm not at all prepared emotionally for his physical departure from our home. As much as I knew what the outcome might be it still feels unreal. The memories and photos seem like pale imitations to having the real thing by your side and will never be enough. Even in his poor health and limited mobility he was such a joy to me. Yes there were difficult times but he was always generous in his love. Always giving me a sweet smile or sending me a text message when he could no longer talk.

We have been enjoying the sympathy cards and in particular the stories that friends and family have shared with us about their time with Mark. Thank you for sharing your memories with us.

My best friend, husband, and love

2011-02-02T07:05:00.001-08:00

Mark Kane Culotta, 47, of Townsend Massachusetts died at home, surrounded by his family, on Saturday, January 29, 2010.

Mark was born on March 12, 1963 in Detroit Michigan, the son of John and Lynn Culotta. He grew up in Plymouth, Michigan and graduated from Plymouth-Canton High School in 1981. He studied Electrical Engineering at Massachusetts Institute of Technology and was a member of Chi Phi Fraternity.

Mark moved to Townsend with his wife in 1989 and worked as a software engineer. Most recently, he worked for Acme Packet of Bedford, Massachusetts.

Mark was a member of the Townsend Congregational Church. He often played piano during worship service and led the children’s choir. Mark was a member of the music committee and was a past leader of the church’s stewardship campaign.

Mark loved music and played the violin in the Nashua Chamber Music Orchestra. He had many hobbies and interests, including art, beekeeping, maple sugaring, woodworking, gardening, reading and playing music with his children.

Mark leaves his father John Culotta, a Consulting Architect, and his mother, Lynn Rundell Culotta, who worked for many years as a bookkeeper in the payroll department of the Plymouth-Canton Community Schools.

Mark also leaves his wife of 23 years, Carrin (Passaro) Culotta and three daughters, Cailley A. Culotta, Emma X. Culotta and Isabelle R. Culotta, all of Townsend. Mark also leaves his brother Kent S. Culotta of Glendale, California and his maternal grandmother, Margaret S. Rundell who is 102 years old and lives in Chelsea, Michigan.

A graveside service will be held on Tuesday, February 1st at 11AM at the Riverside Cemetery in West Townsend. A memorial service will be held in celebration of Mark’s life on Thursday February 3rd at 5:30 PM at the Townsend Congregational Church, 3 Brookline Street, Townsend, Massachusetts. There will be a reception immediately following the memorial service in Fellowship Hall of the Townsend Congregational Church.

In lieu of flowers, a donation can be made to the Culotta children’s education fund. Checks should be made out to the Townsend Congregational Church with “in memory of Mark Culotta” written on the memo line.

And the year goes round again ...

2010-12-26T07:09:00.000-08:00

Getting the Christmas tree!

Mark stayed warm and cozy at home on the couch. Grandma had suggested a fake tree this year but the girls protested and insisted on cutting their own. So Cailley drove us a few miles to the local tree farm.

Hot mulled cider was delicious!

Townsend tree lighting on the common! Isabelle was there early singing with the girl scouts.

and then there was light!

Guess who ... pays a visit on the town fire truck?

... Santa of course hands out candy canes!

Warm hobo stew after the choir concert at one of the local churches on the town common.

Mid-December finds us enjoying the girls recitals and concerts. Isabelle played second chair in her orchestra and enjoyed dressing up for the concert.

Postcards of Christmas!

Our Christmas card for this year. Each girl made their own snow globe.

The Christmas table ...

Santa pays a visit ...

Singing Christmas carols after dinner ...

Our very own "Elf on the shelf" arrived late in the season and will stay until New Year's Eve!

November days ...

2010-12-26T06:58:00.001-08:00

Our oldest daughter turned 17 and enjoys her birthday morning breakfast in bed!

Thanksgiving dinner was a success with the help of the girls. They really helped with the cooking this year.

Mark wasn't able to enjoy any of the food though due to his radiation side effects. But we did get him to the table just to say grace and show him our table.

Halloween

2010-11-08T17:07:00.000-08:00

I'm exhausted and sad. It's just takes so much energy to be doing EVERYTHING. And getting another cold hasn't helped much either. But mostly I'm just sad about my dear husband and his medical issues. Its difficult to get him to eat and he is loosing weight too fast. I'm so worried too. We are going into the hospital daily for radiation. I'm hoping he will get some relief soon. I just feel so angry that we waited so long to address these issues and yet I have been worried about them since the summer. Who is listening to me? Anyway I am looking into a clinical trial type option and am hoping I can get him over this last bit of radiation ok.

But life is just continuing its rushing along. Isabelle wanted a witch costume hand sewn by me so I cooperated. Her little hat came out darling. Mark wasn't able to participate in the pumpkin carving (which he usually orchestrates) but his brother Kent helped out.

Mark posed with the girls and the pumpkins a bit ...

Halloween was a zoo as always (trying to do too many things at once) but the girls had fun.

Isabelle is on the right hand side and her fried (also a witch) on the left ...

Fall

2010-10-27T11:41:00.001-07:00

Ok so I didn't get out in the yard much this last month. But I did enjoy the fall colors each day on the drive into Boston to the hospital. I try to keep reminding myself to enjoy the beauty -- because soon I'll be looking at grey and maybe snow!

Etsy Treasuries ...

Enjoying the warm days of fall!

2010-09-24T09:37:00.000-07:00

I've been trying to spend at least a half hour outside tending to the overgrown (yet pretty) gardens. I've got a million things to do but I NEED to get outside to relieve some of the stress and worry over my husband's health. I've started at the driveway side garden nearest the mailbox. This year it was overtaken with crabgrass. I'm transplanting a few "wild" plants that have spread around the yard and going to add some rocks to create a little shading for the plant roots.

I get side tracked though with all the other things in the yard though. The golden rod is going crazy. I love it this time of year when paired with the asters we planted for the honey bees. Our yard is never so busy with bees than at this time of year. Our own hives are still this year but there are plenty of wild honey bees to be seen.

Well who wouldn't be cheered up by a little warm sunshine on a cool fresh morning with an abundance of flowers and bees all around?

A new Etsy treasury to share made by Joanna's Photograpy ...

Happy Autumn Moon!

2010-09-22T11:31:00.000-07:00

This Sunday we celebrated our yearly Autumn Moon Festival in our backyard with the cousins and grandma and grandpa. Isabelle insisted on tiki torches for the patio and I found a few more sets of lights to string outside as well as an abundance of candles.

The kids started the party by dressing up in their silk outfits. Then we each painted a paper lantern or banner. The kids had a lot of fun doing this yearly craft so we have quite a collection of lanterns from all the past years too.

Then they headed outside grabbing the ribbon sticks to dance about the yard. Some were rainbow colored and others handmade from ribbons. A music tape was set up in the playhouse.

We made cookies with our chinese wooden cookie molds. Since we had purchased a box of mooncakes we just made cookies with vanilla and chocolate shortbread recipes (the chocolate was awesome!).

We ordered take out from our local Panda Wok and supplimented that with steamed buns and pork shumi from a chinese grocery store in Littleton.

After dinner we made tea and served it in our tiny tea sets from China and ate our mooncakes. Then we each took a lantern and a few floating candles and walked down to the river in the darkness. We could see the moon coming up through the clouds. Our little lanterns shown just enough light to walk by. At the river we each lit a candle and sent it floating down river with a prayer and moment of silence. It was so pretty! We walked back up towards the house and restarted our bonfire and toasted marshmallows and lit sparklers.

Mark was a bit under the weather and enjoyed the day relaxing watching sports on tv with Uncle Pete. Emma took over on cooking the steamed food (Mark's job) and did an excellent job. Mark didn't make it outside to enjoy the night lights and walk under the moonlight and we missed him. But the kids were busy enough to keep Robin, Grandma, and I running around.

End of Summer

2010-08-30T07:40:00.000-07:00

Today is our last summer day before school starts. We've had a lovely summer with Mark feeling up to a few outings and vacations. He is really doing quite well compared to the winter/spring and can walk short distances (including the walk from the parking lot to the beach -- which totally exhausts him) and this has allowed us some freedom.

We enjoyed our last weekend of the summer in Ogunquit with a one night stay in a motel. The outdoor pool was too cold to be enjoyed by the girls but they did spend some time in the over chlorinated indoor pool. Spamalot was playing at the playhouse so we arranged to spend Saturday evening there. It was fun and enjoyed by all. Sunday was our day at the beach and Mark was a trooper getting across and over the footbridge. We had to contend with the tide coming in and moving our setup a few times. Isabelle LOVED the water and boogie board surfing in the awesome waves. The other girls avoided the cold water more.

I just wanted to share a few composite photos of some of my work ...

Anticipating the fall colors...

2010-08-15T14:20:00.000-07:00

From last spring

Small steps

2010-07-29T19:43:00.000-07:00

It was weeks more in the hospital last March. Meanwhile Mark's strength to walk was waning with little physically therapy available to him. Basically even sitting up in bed became difficult. Walking was near impossible. Eventually with persistence and tears we were able to insist on Mark's move out of the hospital and into rehab. We were lucky to have a place for him to go that was about 10-15 minutes away. Unfortunately we could no longer stay the nights with him.

After a week at rehab he regained enough strength to get out of bed with a walker and get to the bathroom. So we got a hospital bed for home and a walker and a week later he was home with us. FINALLY. The swelling in his legs had reduced dramatically. He was happy being home with us and we were happy having him. It was a difficult time though. Being out of hospital care meant a lot of worry of what could or might happen at any moment. The nights were the worst but they were survived and morning came again. I think we all were suffering from some sort of post traumatic stress thing.

A physical therapist and a nurse came to the house at least once a week. Mark had exersizes to do and the days went by pretty quickly. The expansion of our cable channel signup meant many hours watching the food channel and such. Plus we started a few movies so we could watch together.

In May things were looking up a bit though the scan results at the end of April did not look good at all. But his health and increased movement was slowly improving. Getting off the chemo I'm sure helped too.

He did end up with more blood clots in his legs and then went on blood thinner. This isn't a happy chore for him with 2 shots a day. But it has worked great. Mid-may he went in for a week for cyberknife treatment on his spine mets. This was a relatively painless but time consuming procedure. About a week later he was in for surgery on his spine to stabilize everything. It was a much bigger operation than expected and we were a little scared to loose what little new mobility we had gained.

But his recovery was rather good and slowly but surely he was back to his mobility in May and then surpassing even that.

Spring comes ...

2010-05-04T04:17:00.000-07:00

We survived our ordeal at the hospital but not without emotional and a few very real scars. It was a place of seemingly endless torture though ironically we were so dependent upon them for daily survival.

Everything seemed to be going so well with his first round of chemotherapy. The side effects that we were so dreading were really not as bad as expected. Mark was pretty much couch-bound since learning that the pain he endured on his hip and back were due to bone metastasis. He was reluctant to leave the house much even to go to work because both the discomfort and his feeling rather fragile. Looking at the scans and seeing how the cancer had invaded his spine I couldn't help but shared his concern though worried over his lack of mobility. We had visitors during this period which included my mom and her husband and then soon followed by Mark's parents from MI and brother from LA. That visit went smoothly coming several days after his first treatment. Mark went into work for a few hours while his dad and I looked for a recliner chair to make him more comfortable at home. Mark was no longer comfortable sleeping in a bed and had moved downstairs to the couch. But the couch being a bit older wasn't quite so comfortable. The chair worked well and Mark seemed happy enough to spend the better part of the day and night there.

In the midst of this turmoil our families visited with Mark. We celebrated Isabelle's 9th birthday and even a little Chinese New Years with the cousins and my sister. On Monday February 16th the house was quiet again with everyone gone home. On Tuesday evening Mark started coughing up blood and we were off to the local emergency room. It was a terrifying experience and I was sick to my stomach as I drove. We returned home after midnight while the girls slept soundly. Wednesday we drove all the way to Beth Israel Hospital as he began coughing up more blood.

They gave him an IV and hooked him up to the heart monitors. He must of had a CT or x-ray but I don't recall this. We waited several hours wondering what was going on. Mark had stopped coughing up the blood. They administered heparin which I questioned but evidently he had small pulmonary embolisms in his lungs. Giving him heparin while he coughed up blood (hemoptysis) seemed like a bad idea to me. He was also diagnosed as having pnuemonia and put on antibiotics. Around 7 pm they were working on moving him to the east campus to a room to stay in overnight. I rode with him in the ambulance but we were delivered to the wrong room. It was no wonder we weren't visited by any nurses. I asked for pillows to make him comfortable but none arrived. I was anxious to have him situated because I planned on returning home to the girls that night. I had no idea of the seriousness of this situation or I would not have left him. Eventually in my visits to the nurses station we discovered that Mark had been misplaced (i.e. put in the wrong room by the Ambulance EMTs) . Finally someone visited us. What would have happened if I wasn't there, I wondered? And so I was off to home. Somewhere in the middle of the night I called to check on Mark. He had started coughing up more blood and was moved to the ICU.

After getting the girls situated (it was winter break week) I rushed back down to Boston again. I found Mark in the ICU and was happy to see him. He was on a lot of medications but pretty much frustrated about being hospitalized. They had stopped the heparin though, DUH!, because of the hemoptysis. I must of made arrangement for the girls or had Isabelle stay at the Hunt's because I did spend the night with him in the ICU. Mark's dad flew in from Michigan and came directly to the hospital. Mark's hemoptysis continued spaced by 12 - 18 hours of nothing. A broncoscopy was performed Thursday evening in the ICU but was really not useful since they could see nothing with the technology of the equipment. Friday morning he was moved to the West campus for a repeat broncoscopy with Dr. Michaud (and better equipment). Dr. Michaud notices that Mark has no compression boots on (to prevent blood clots when bedridden). They are put on. Broncoscopy performed and some cleaning up around the collapsed tumor was done. In the late afternoon we were visited by two sets of doctors. One wanted to perform some sort of cauterization of the tumor. The other radiation. We signed the consent forms for the cauterization procedure only to be told by the radiation doctor that we were doing radiation. I broke down at that point wondering at the lack of communication going on. Inevitably we were back in the ambulance headed for the East campus for radiation. He had his first of what what intended to be about 10 treatments.

By now they had discovered that Mark had developed blood clots in his legs. I suppose I wasn't surprised by this but frustrated that he hadn't had the "boots" sooner. The boot on the effected leg was removed. Mark's brother and mother returned from Michigan. Kent helped out staying alternating nights with the girls and with his mom. I rotated nights at the hospital with Mark with his dad and nights at home with the girls.

Due to the blood clots and the inability to administer heparin due to the hemoptyis an IVC filter was suggested. This is a filter that is inserted into the main vein in the leg and is supposed to catch blood clots and prevent them from travelling to other places in the body where they can do serious damage. Having no other option we agreed.

Saturday the girls had a brief visit in the ICU to see Mark. Sunday was Emma's birthday and she came in alone with Mark's mom and brother. We sang happy birthday and gave her a present.

After this procedure Mark's condition seemed to go downhill quite a bit. He lost blood through his urine now but had stopped coughing up blood. A low blood pressure meant he needed blood transfusions. He did loose his hair too. They did continue (changing the chemo drugs though) with his next chemo treatment on Tuesday. He did show some improvement then (less blood in urine) and was moved from the ICU to the chemotherapy floor. I guess this was good?!?!?!? But it was really touch and go.
On Thursday evening after his daily radiation treatment he developed severe irritation to his esophogus and could swallow no liquids or food. No more coughing up blood though (for quite a few days now).

Friday found him in intense pain from the radiation though none of the nurses/doctors seemed to attribute it to that. I asked them to contact the radiation doctor. But no. We saw a GI doctor but he recommended time. Somehow or other he ended up getting a barium scan which showed his esophogus was not blocked. A late visit by the radiation doctor (who had spoken to noone else) did clear things up. I described the situation and he recommended a solution for his throat. A day of pain and he could have had relief sooner. I refused to let him have another radiation treatment and the doctor reluctantly agreed to hold off until Monday.

Saturday the girls visited (after NEC) again along with my sister Robin. It was a lovely time to spend with him and he did appear improved. But after everyone had left I discovered Mark's legs to be completely swollen. The nurses hadn't noticed this. They continued with his blood transfusions and he continued to "blow up".

Untitled....

2010-02-27T17:26:00.000-08:00

Life isn't fair. Sometimes we expect it to be but really it isn't. I don't know what to say but my husband of 22 years has an incurable cancer. I just can't imagine that I must go on without him -- he's my best friend and the greatest dad. Of course I'm hoping that he will stay with us as long as possible but we've been derailed by serious reactions to his first chemo treatment and basically struggling day to day for some improvement. Its completely exhausting and frustrating. My eyes ache from all the tears.

Meanwhile my little shop goes on. For some reason unknown to me I have been featured several times on Etsy's front page.

One of my birds nests featured in an Etsy Spotlight.

Its quite ironic when the rest of my life is in chaos.

The Beginning of a New Year!

2010-01-04T19:02:00.000-08:00

The vacation is over and the girls went excitedly back to school. I am left with the sad task of putting away Christmas for next year. Taking the holiday decorations down always leaves me melancholy and its a more daunting and less rewarding task than putting them up. This is nothing like spring cleaning and gives me little satisfaction though leaving the tree to curl into a mishappend monster in the corner with very pointy teeth is something I want to avoid. And so this next week will be the task of boxes and wrapping delicate ornaments once again.

One of my creations ended up on the front page of Etsy today! I missed it but some thoughtful person sent me a note. Here is a link to the archived page

After Christmas .... recap of pre xmas prep

2009-12-31T15:26:00.000-08:00

This year seemed a bit more unplanned than usual. We did make our norwegian krumkake cookies and lefse for Christmas eve. Our tree was dressed in lights more like a candy cane with alternating white and red strands of lights. This was more of necessity than by design as the new lights we newly purchased were broken. It did however ending looking rather pretty.

The girls concert at Jordan hall before Christmas was beautiful. Their music was beautiful!

This year we have a little angora bunny for the girls. He is getting a lot of love and cuddles and appears to enjoy it.

Getting ready for the holidays

2009-12-20T09:53:00.000-08:00

I wish everyone a joyous Christmas and holiday season!

Some Etsy front pages my work was in ...